I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Randomize
