This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
