I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Randomize
