you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
