Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
