I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
