If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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