From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
