Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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