oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
