Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Randomize
