idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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