If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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