What a fucking waste of an outfit
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
i've created a new STD.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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