Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
It's rum buckets o'clock
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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