He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize