is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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