Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
