real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
