It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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