so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
