Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
