This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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