Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
