She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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