I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
