Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
