I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
The air taste purple.
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