I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
