Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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