Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
