lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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