We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
well, you know. whores of a feather.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
