the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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