need another drink. this is the easiest way
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
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