I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Randomize
