Capitaan dildo arrescate!
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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