Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
my nose is crying tears of wow.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
