is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Is it penis luge time yet?
I just blew my weed a kiss
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
