The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
