Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
