Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
