I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
