return my video game
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I fill condoms, not promises.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
