38 yer olds are good kisserssss
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Randomize
