my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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