Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
