i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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