Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
He better not be in your backpack
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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