If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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