Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Randomize
