I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
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