I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
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